Day 22 Niagara Falls 21.9.2010

Day 22 Niagara Falls 21.9.2010

Oh, my fuckin’ head!!!!! I was as sick as a dog this morning after last night’s drinking. We spent hours in the van today as we headed towards Niagara Falls. I wasn’t much fun on the bus. I made sure I bagged a window seat for the journey. I put my pillow against the window and rested my big fat hungover head against it and went for a nap. When Scott stopped the van for a break and a leg stretch, I woke myself with a loud snort and was mortified when I realised I had drooled all over my pillow. Hopefully no one noticed.

I spent the rest of the trip awake, taking notes of the things I saw as I looked out the window. I saw approximately seven trillion pumpkins along the road, in peoples’ gardens, hanging from lamp-posts, they were everywhere. The Yanks love Halloween! Scott told me it is considered to be the biggest holiday of the year in the States. I’m not sure if he was teasing me or not. The Halloween mania didn’t stop at pumpkins. Witches, ghosts and goblins adorned every shop window and every door of every house. It was freaky! I hate Halloween! Why would anyone want to be scared intentionally? That’s stupid! Maybe I am a bit of a wimp? I never liked ghost stories as a child and I detest horror films. Also, I always thought Halloween was a Celtic festival that recognised the end of the summer. I’m sure I learnt that in school. Now, instead of offering thanks to the pagan gods or whatever the Celts did, we stick our heads in a baby bath full of bobbing apples and try and fish a penny out of a plate of flour with our hands tied behind our backs! Halloween me arse! It’s another commercialised day. I bet Walt Disney invented Halloween and made a mint from it.

We also saw a car full of Mormons on the highway. Their badges were visible across three lanes of traffic. Rachel tried to get them to pull over by gesturing out the passenger window. We were all waving and smiling at them, thinking it would be nice for them to get some positive attention. After all, most people ignore them on the street when the Mormons try to talk to them. Our Mormon friends ignored us. That must be a first, being ignored by Mormons?

I noticed one other odd thing today that made me giggle. I took a photo of it because I couldn’t write fast enough. A van passed with a zillion stickers stuck to the back window. The stickers read “Alien hunter”; “Conspiratologist”; “2012 prepare for contact”; “Bigfoot lives”. Not too weird I hear you say. The guy is into science fiction maybe? What made me giggle was that tucked among the X-file type stickers were others that read “easy tai chi”; “thoughts become things”; “a reiki healer drives this vehicle”.

We reached the town of Niagara in the late afternoon. Our campsite was outside the town and had beautiful views of Lake Ontario. Once parked, everyone fell excitedly out of Sheila and raced to the lake’s edge.

“Is that Canada over there?”,asked Tracy.

Squinting and staring like an old lady, I could just about make out the Toronto skyline. Cameras were thrown by the girls to the lads, the girls yelling “Take a pic of us with Canada in the background! Make sure you get Canada in!”

After the photo shoot, we pitched out tents. The weather was clement so it was enjoyable putting the tent up with Kobus. We laughed and giggled at each other as we battled with the tent poles. I’d pick one up and another would fall down. You wouldn’t see it in a silent Charlie Chaplin movie!

For dinner, the lads decided to do a barbeque. The men prepared the meat and congregated around the fire pit like cavemen. They spoke for 15 minutes about how best to arrange the coal for the barbeque. Then, they decided what meat should be cooked first, what meat should be placed where on the grille to ensure even cooking, it was hilarious to watch. Some of us girls sat at a nearby picnic table preparing the salad and bread. Verity and I were teaching Jai, Jeong and Momo the names of the different food on the table in English. Likewise, they taught us the words of the items in their mother tongues. I can honestly say that I can’t remember the Japanese or Korean words for salt, butter, peppers, lettuce and bread but it was funny listening to everyone try and pronounce words in a language that was totally foreign to them.

During our linguistic lesson, I noticed that Nicki and Tracy were sitting on the grass by themselves chatting. I glanced over and saw Tracy gesturing to me with her eyes to come over. I went over and asked what they were talking about.

“Threesomes! Nicki’s talking about threesomes!” yelled Tracy.

Oh my! I thought.

“How did that come up in conversation?” I asked.

“Well”, chirped Nicki, “Tracy was just telling me about her wonderful new boyfriend and I asked her if she had ever considered a threesome?” Nicki gazed at me with a huge moronic grin on her face, waiting for me to reply.

“Well, ummm, I don’t know! Emmm! Well, I would imagine that one’s curiosity about such a, em, task, might make one think they would like have a threesome but when push came to shove, if the moment arrived for me, I don’t think I could do it!”

Oh God! How embarrassing!

“Well, I can tell you Loren that you would be fine. My first time, I had no problem being with another woman and my boyfriend. I really had no problem going down there!”

Tracy spluttered Sprite all over herself. I was gobsmacked. I really didn’t know what to say. Luckily, Scott called us over for food so the conversation was cut short.

After dinner, we cleared up and hopped into Sheila to go see Niagara Falls at night. The Falls weren’t as tall as I had imagined but they were still very impressive. Watching and listening to the water thunder from the falls was amazing. On the US side, we watched the water and took some photographs at Prospect Point Park. It was decided that we would go across the bridge into Canada to view the Falls from Toronto. I was really disappointed to leave Kobus behind in the US. He didn’t have a Canadian visa so he couldn’t come. In jest, I pretended we were being torn apart against our will.

“Goodbye my love! I will think of you every day. One day, you will come to Canada to be with me. We shall make snow angels then retire to our log cabin to listen to Joni Mitchell and eat chowder!”

Kobus looked at Scott who had decided he had seen the Falls from Canada plenty of times and was going to stay behind.

“Scott, let’s go for a pint! Loren, you’re a loony my girl!”

I grinned at his dry wit and trundled across the bridge with everyone else. After passing passport control, where I had been asked by the officer about every stamp in my passport, we ventured along the street, past the Hard Rock Café, a bunch of casinos and a zillion souvenir shops. I decided to get Kobus a souvenir magnet from my hour long trip to Canada. I wanted him to know I had been thinking of him.

Americans told me that the best view of the Falls is from the US whereas Canadians told me it was from their side. Well, in my opinion, they are both wrong. The best view is from the middle of the bridge connecting the US to Canada over the river. I took a nice photo of the Falls with the lights of the CN Tower and the casinos on the right and the contrasting dim lit Prospect Park on the left.

I was nervous going back to the States because I had been interrogated by the Canadian border official. I thought they would be far stricter at the US border. I had nothing to hide but officials make me nervous. After paying 50 cents to get back into the States, yes, you have to pay to walk back into the country, I was greeted by a smiling man who took my passport and welcomed me to America.

“Oh you’re Irish! That’s great!”

“It is!” I said and smiled back at him.

What a lovely man!

Kobus was waiting with Scott. I thought he would have at least made a welcome back sign for me and greeted me with a rose in his teeth but no, I got nothing of the sort. Men!